Caffeinated Bang For Your Buck

I quit caffeine for six months a couple years ago and hated every minute. I’d rather sleep less than live longer. Well, I’d rather do both; that’s why I love science. I wonder if there are studies that correlate caffeine consumption with life expectancy. If my life expectancy is reduced by less than the total of daily added time, I’d experience more time conscious than otherwise.

Like most Simpsons episodes, the rest of this post is only tangentially related to what was just discussed…

I loves me some energy drinks (proof). I’m here to pimp my most recent favorite, Molotov Explosive Energy. “Pimp” isn’t the right word; that would imply I’m making money from it. Really, I’m just a guy in love with a drink. They’re a relative newcomer to the market, and I don’t want them to go away any time soon. I really hate it when products I love disappear.

I’ve posted about them on Facebook before, but something struck me as blog-worthy. A portion of their sales goes towards the Hispanic Scholarship Fund. Considering what my grandmother does, I have a big soft spot for charity.

That’s all fine and dandy, but what does Molotov do for you?

If I could describe myself in one word, it would be “eclectic.” When I saw “con Tapatío” on an energy drink can, how could I possibly resist?

The first flavor I tried was Pineapple con Tapatío (they have non-Tapatío versions as well). I poured it into a tall glass to see the color. It was pineapple yellow with sparse, red specks of chili peppers. As I brought the glass to my face the first thing I noticed—even before the sweet pineapple smell—was a tickle in my nose reminiscent of a strong ginger ale.

The first sip paid perfect homage to the description “explosive energy.” It was a blast of pineapple-y goodness. It takes a fair bit of sweetness to cover up the bitterness of caffeine, but Molotov perfectly balances it with the acidity of lemon. There is absolutely no hint of the unpleasant tang and aftertaste associated with highly caffeinated drinks (especially the ones with taurine and guarana).

Swallowing was another experience unto itself. Carbonation conspired with capsaicin to tickle and tingle my throat in a way I never imagined (usually I have a great imagination for imbibants*). It was similar to a ginger ale, but with a subtle warmth that goes beyond the superficial burn. The warmth builds as you continue to drink it.

One word of warning though: be careful breathing while drinking. If your throat or sinuses are sensitive to the spice, it may make you cough. This can be especially troublesome when sitting at a computer at work. Ahem. You may not be affected by it, or (like me) you may think it’s totally worth the risk. Otherwise, the non-Tapatío versions are perfectly acceptable alternatives. The loss of spice does nothing to diminish the unique, “is this really an energy drink?” experience.

The mango has a more mellow flavor than the pineapple. There is less acidity, but also slightly less sweetness. I still have a hard time noticing the “energy blend.”

The third flavor which doesn’t have a spicy counterpart is Tamarindo. If you’ve never experienced tamarind before, do yourself a favor. It’s sweet, and ever so slightly fruity. It has been described as somewhat cola-like, but I’ve never found that particularly satisfying. Whatever the case, it’s just as delicious as the others.

Oh, did I mention Molotov drinks make excellent cocktails?

---

* TODO: Totally Random Made-up Term for the Day: imbibants